Stories by Alice B. Clagett 


Ode to a Scarlet Varlet
a story by Alice B. Clagett

This account is entirely fictional.



. . . . .

You know, some people say that, when a criminal pays,
by going to jail, and then gets out again,
that they've paid their debt to society,
and so they deserve a second chance, right?

And so, but ...
There are certain criminals that don't want a second chance!
So I've composed this ode in honor of those sorts of criminals.
And it goes like this:

I have paid my debt to society
and I pay it again each week

Die, Sucker, Die!

And a makeover artist says:
If they shine their shoes, and buff up their lats
Nobody will know about their past!

And those guys say:
Die, Haberdasher, Die!

And the ladies say:
Whoo-eee! It's a lot of fun
Fooling around with the reformed ones!

And those guys say:
Die, Pollyanna, die!

And humanitarians say:
Oh, these guys had such rough childhoods
Maybe we can help them with their livelihood

And those guys say:
Die, Goody Two-Shoes, die!

So, every Friday or Saturday night
They give the citizens quite a fright ...

You will pay for the miserable way
You've treated us! It's Judgement Day|

Die, Citizen, Die!

. . . . .

Well, I have to say,
I'm just put out by the situation
I'm daunted ...
I'm just not wantin'
this reptilian lingo
to linger
any longer

You already know that story!
But what I hear, on a Friday night, Is 

Die, Citizen, Die!


--a story by Alice B. Clagett
24 February 2018



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 "Stories" by Alice B. Clagett is licensed
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